Friends...

What makes a person a friend? According to http://www.m-w.com/:

Main Entry: friend

1 a: one attached to another by affection or esteem b: acquaintance
2 a: one that is not hostile b: one that is of the same nation, party, or group
3: one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)
4: a favored companion
5 capitalized : a member of a Christian sect that stresses Inner Light, rejects sacraments and an ordained ministry, and opposes war —called also Quaker

I think I like # 4 the best of all those. A favored companion. But I don't think it goes far enough.

Tracy Lawrence's song describes a friend even better. Someone who is there for you through thick and thin, no matter what. Someone who loves you despite your shortcomings and failures. Someone whom you can hurt and offend, yet they stick by your side anyway. Someone who would sacrifice for you. Their time. Their money. Their belongings. Maybe even their life.

I used to have lots of 'friends'. Most of which would fit more under the 1b definition. Lots that would fit under #4. But I've also had quite a few that this song describes. People that would drop whatever they were doing and come running if I needed them.

Seems like life (and death) really gets in the way of friendship a lot of the time, though. All the close friends I had through my college days and 20's have all moved on with their spouses and children and I rarely hear from any of them anymore. Some have died.

Now, I can think of really no one that would fit the definition of a friend as described by this song. I have a lot of 1b's. A few 4's. But is there anyone in my life right now, besides my wife, that would do the things described in the song? I can think of a couple of 'maybes'.

It's partly my fault because I'm very introverted and insecure. (wow, did I just say that in public?) I'm not a very good conversationalist. I have a hard time expressing my thoughts. All this makes it difficult for people to get to know me. Also, I've been hurt/betrayed by 'friends' enough in the past that it's hard for me to let my guard down and let someone get close.

But I do have to wonder too.... I've been going to this church for almost 2.5 years now and in that time not one person has ever called just to see how I'm doing or to invite us to dinner. Not even during the time that I was here for 6 months by myself before the rest of the family moved out here. The only calls I ever get are when someone wants me to do something for them. That's #2 in my top 10 list of reasons to find a new church. There's a HUGE difference in being friendly and being a friend. Alabama has been a pretty desolate place for me.

Find Out Who Your Friends Are - Tracy Lawrence
Run your car off the side of the road
Get stuck in a ditch way out in the middle of nowhere
Or get yourself in a bind, Lose the shirt off your back,
Need a floor, need a couch, need a bus fare…

This is where the rubber meets the road
This is where the cream is gonna rise
This is what you really didn't know
This is where the truth don’t lie

Find out who your friends are
Somebody’s gonna drop everything
Run out and crank up their car
Hit the gas, get there fast
Never stop to think “what’s in it for me?”
Or “it’s way too far”
They just show on up
With their big ol’ heart
Yeah find out who your friends are.

Everybody wants to slap your back
Wants to shake your hand
When you’re up on top of that mountain
Then one of those rocks will get wet
And you slide back down
Look up and see who’s around then
This aint where the road comes to an end
This aint where the band wagon stops
This is just one of those times when
A lotta folks jump off.

Yeah find out who your friends are
Somebody’s gonna drop everything
Run out and crank up their car
Hit the gas, get there fast
Never stop to think “what’s in it for me?”
Or “it’s way too far”
They just show on up
With their big ol’ heart
Yeah find out who your friends are.

When the water’s high
When the weather’s not so fair
When the well runs dry
Who’s gonna be there?
Yeah find out who your friends are

Somebody’s gonna drop everything
Run out and crank up their car
Hit the gas, get there fast
Never stop to think “what’s in it for me?”
Or “it’s way too far”
They just show on up
With their big ol’ heart
Yeah find out who your friends are.
Yeah find out who your friends are.

Run your car off the side of the road
Get stuck in a ditch way out in the middle of nowhere
Man I been there
Or get yourself in a bind
Lose the shirt off your back
Need a floor, need a couch
Need a bus fare…
Man I been there
Man I been there…

---

Sanctus Real got it right, "I think I caught a glimpse of life without friends - bitter, empty, hollow, dark and lonely"

John 15:13 says, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."
Obviously Jesus is the greatest example of a friend. He sacrificed everything for everyone.

God I’m in this place again...

Not only do these songs rock, but they express how I feel a lot of the time. You get all excited about Jesus and you get on this spiritual high, but then the pressures of life start to make those feelings diminish. Then, eventually, you forget what made you feel that way and you have a hard time re-capturing that joy, despite how desperately you want it back. We're all guilty, we've all messed up. But Jesus forgives us and doesn't want us to give up, but sometimes we feel like we're just barely hanging on...

I Won't Give Up - Everyday Sunday
You know how sometimes you meet somebody
Who changes your life
But then after awhile you forget how you thought
About what changed everything

Tell me what's your reason
You find me in this treason
I didn't think that I'd come through
Then I thought that I failed You
I tell You that I still love You
Well I tell You that I'm guilty, I messed up
But You're still the one I love
Please forgive me Jesus
I promise I wont give up

So I know I forgot what it meant just to love
Without caring about my selfish thoughts
I just want to remember what its like to glorify You
And let it go

Tell me what's your reason
You find me in this treason
I didn't think that I'd come through
Then I thought that I failed You
I tell You that I still love You
Well I tell You that I'm guilty, I messed up
But You're still the one I love
Please forgive me Jesus
I promise I wont give up

Hanging On - Everyday Sunday
God I’m in this place again
I’m trying so hard not to fall,
but everything keeps coming down with the rain.
And I try so hard I forget to call.

Everybody’s looking around, and wants to be found
And I’m just hanging on;
I give You all that I am.

I come to You with all that I am,
I bring to You all that I have,
and all I have is nothing,
and I keep on trying,
and all I want is You.

Everybody’s looking around and wants to be found
And I’m just hanging on.
I give You all that I am.

And as I sit here in the midst of You,
I come to You; I come with all I am.

And as I sit here in the midst of You,
I come to You; I come with all I am.

Everybody’s looking around and wants to be found,
and I’m just hanging on.
I give You all that I am.